He's just a cat, right?

At least that is what I keep telling myself....it doesn't help any. My favorite cat (even more favorite than any of ALL of the barn cats we had over the years including Mr. Furly, Tud, and Holly) has given me nothing but trouble since the day we brought him into the house. Long story short....four surgeries and more than $5000 later I still feel like I should have done more. You see this cat (at least I think) had an eating disorder. He'd eat any and everything.

First surgery the dr's asked me to exam what it was they took from his bowel because they just couldn't figure it out. It ended up being the neon orange pair of ear plugs that we used when we mow the lawn. In addition there were several "Polly Pocket" shoes and other accessories, along with about a dozen pony tail holders and a few rubber bands. Next two surgeries were more involved including a charm bracelet (yes a metal linked charm bracelet) again more rubber bands and pony tail holders. The most recent surgery was a shoe lace....let me rephrase that a BOOT lace. It was the cord type boot lace. About three feet entwined throughout his belly, intestines, and bowel. And you guessed it, more pony tail holders, rubber bands, and some miscellaneous things. Now....I try to keep the house clean, straight, picked up. But how do you make sure the cat doesn't eat those kinds of things?!?!? We kept all the doors closed and he only had access to the living space by the front of the house. My guess is that he would get mad when we would leave for work. Then again maybe he liked the texture?! He (and his brother) always had food available as well as water. In fact they both had access to food and water both in the kitchen and in the back bedroom. I just don't get it.
Now, most of you may be thinking why on earth would you have even spent the money on this cat to begin with!? He was that kind of cat. He was the most love-y cat you'd ever meet. He was always purring. Always. When the dr.'s would exam him they couldn't get over how he would just keep purring all through the visit. Even when you would think he was scared, you could still hear a purr from him. He LOVED everyone and if you came into HIS home (yes, we live with the cats!) he would be one of the first to greet you and if you somehow had nothing on your lap as you sit he'd make sure he filled it with....him.

Another reason we loved the cat so much is that we brought him home just two months after our son died. It helped ease the pain (if there is such a thing) with my two daughters when they heard the news of the unfortunate circumstances of my pregnancy. I know there was no replacement for our son. I knew that if we got the cats that it would in fact be harder to part with them later because of the emotional attachment. I knew this....yet it is hard to reason with a woman in such grief.

Well, after his third surgery only a month ago, he started healing and doing better. Then out of the blue he turned. He started with symptoms again that led me to believe he wasn't well. I immediately took him into the vet hospital after calling them ahead of time to explain the situation. There were two girls at the office who semi-adopted him and we actually called them Aunt Pia and Aunt Brittney because they were like family to this cat. They loved him as much as we did.

I signed all the appropriate papers (even though they had all of our current info....we were just there for surgery a month ago) and asked the girls to take good care of my baby. He stayed overnight but through the night his condition worsened. They took him into surgery Tuesday morning and before he had a chance to come out of anesthesia he died. His little body (although he was a large cat) just couldn't handle anymore.

I cried of course for the loss of the cat and what he meant to our family but also the tremendous guilt I felt that I didn't take good enough care of him. I should have done more. What kind of mother am I? And of course that all leads up to the questions I had regarding my own sons and how I felt somehow responsible for what happened (genetics can't be helped though).

The girls knew we took him to the vet hospital and that he needs to stay there a while. Aunt Pia and Aunt Britteny are going to be taking care of him. I just haven't had the heart to tell them what happened. They loved that cat. Still do. The attachment they have to this cat is unlike any other I've seen. I know I need to tell them but it is so hard for me to cope as well....how do I tell them?!!? They've already been through so much! I keep telling myself he was just a cat....it's not working. I still miss him.......

You know your kids are growing up when...

* Little Sister says her favorite television show is How It's Made

* Older Sister is entering 4th grade

* Little Sister is entering 2nd grade

* I walked down the hallway only to find Older Sister cleaning
the bathroom sink....without being asked.

* Both girls can successfully make their own breakfast in the morning


But as difficult as it is to accept they are growing up, I know that at the end of the day when they are snuggled up against me before bedtime....they'll both always be my babies.

Things to do, places to go...

Our lives are much like anyone else; school, work, dinner, bedtime. But since May came barging in we have been bombarded with softball, gymnastics, (often times overlapping each other) end-of-the-year school activities, and rumor has it the pool opens up today!! Yikes! It's hard to keep up. I've always been a stay-at-home mom but here recently my kids aren't home. They go to school during the day so there is no one for me to stay home for..sorry Uppy.
I love all the activities even though sometimes TheDad takes one girl in one direction and I take the other one. They play at two different parks and two separate teams. Sometimes I wish I were that busy during the day though. When you have been a SAHM for the past nine years what do you do with yourself when the kids are in school. I don't feel the need to go out and get a full-time job because my kids still need me and I enjoy our time together and not having to rush off to a job. Anyone have any suggestions?

Thank you!!

I recently received a package in the mail. Who doesn't get excited (like little girl at Christmas excited) when there is a package waiting at your door. I knew it was coming only because my dear sister-in-law said she was sending something. I had NO IDEA it was going to be a Danielle Bean book!!! I feel like I know this woman, like she is my next door neighbor, my friend, my "go to" lady for when I have a question about anything from 'how to handle the kids?' to 'how to keep my house clean?' to 'is there ever enough time for just me?'

I started the book the very second I opened the package and enjoyed the first few pages before I had to leave for my 'less than part time' job at the school. I have been wanting to get this book, I've heard so many good reviews. I even tried a couple of her contests at her site to win one. Thank you, Sarah for the book and for caring enough about me to give it to me. And thank you, Danielle Bean for writing it and for being my 'virtual friend'.

The Mail Doorbell

When the mail comesI know. Not only do I know when it has come but I know when it is coming and after the mail lady left. And then I know when the neighbors across the street get their mail as well.
I have a Yorkipoo (yorkshire terrior/poodle) and he insists on letting us all know when the mail has come. He is better than any doorbell but more annoying than any device thought of. I never have to wonder if/when the mail has come, Yorkipoo lets me know!!

And so we left...

So we went to mass this morning, 10am at a different church than usual in effort to be at the Fairgrounds in time for Family Day. In these parts there is a Catholic church/school on about every corner so your choice of mass times vary from 6:30am to 6pm. Family Day at the Fairgrounds is just that, Family Day. The admission is only $1 and you get to watch the horses race and they have all sorts of activities for the kids. Well, having never been to the church we chose to attend this morning we didn't know many people there. And little sister was acting very tired so daddy held her most of mass. I didn't think much of her being tired because of the fun filled day before.
Shortly before Communion she woke up and said she didn't feel good. Only seconds later (and of course durning the quietest time in mass) we heard, cough, cough, splat! As I tried to convince the couple next to us that it was in their best interest to move quickly, again we heard, cough, cough, splat!

Again, not being familiar with this church I didn't know where the bathroom was so I escorted my sick little girl outside and let her finish her business outside in the grass. I then came back in to find the bathroom and of course there was a line 5 deep. I eventually was given some paper towels by one of the parishoners so as to clean up the mess in the pews.

So, in this time span of about 5 minutes (although it felt like an eternity) I decided that after I received Communion I should leave to get sick little girl home, bathed, and snuggled.

And so we left...

Hurricanes, Tornado's, and Flood's oh my!!

As I was awaken by the crash of thunder at 2am I wondered what the heck is going on!? I checked on the little ones (what mother doesn't when for one reason or another awaken in the middle of the night?) and within minutes heard the thunder crack again! If I weren't already awake and aware of what was going on I'd think someone broke in through the window. This continued on through the night as did the battle of trying to keep the little ones comforted. We made 'floor beds' for the kids to stay in our room because their room (less than 10 feet away) was not safe enough for them, or so they thought. I heard those same cracks of thunder at 2:30, 3:15, 4:30, 5:00, 5:45, and then finally woke up at 6:30am to start my day! Needless to say I am tired and in need of a nap, which I won't get.

PTL that our neck of the woods was not damaged as a result of the storms last night but not so true for those living just miles away. Tornado's (or they may say the same one just jig-jogging all over the place) towered through several different cities and wrecked havoc on houses that are STILL trying to recover from Hurricane Katrina! We just can't win!!!! If it's not a Hurricane, it is a tornado and if not those we are always at risk for floods.

Needless to say my stress level has jumped quite a bit since I moved down here. I know you can experience a Tornado just about anywhere in the US but it seems there are more and more around these parts lately.

I guess my muffled thoughts here are just my way of being thankful for the things I have and PTL we are safe......for now!

From My Kitchen Sink...

Sarah inspired me to share with you the view from my kitchen sink. What a neat idea. You don't think about it much but everyone's sink-view is very different. One day I hope to have one overlooking open fields and mature trees, but for now I have my backyard and my neighbors back yard.
I took these at night so you can't see the real view of the outside but you are not missing much. Just my empty backyard and the back of my neighbors houses. I hope to have some sort of plants to plant by the fenceline and maybe give some privacy. We have 6' fence on both sides but a chain link on the back. Go figure. My Bamboo plants are the ones I bought to replace some of the plants I lost during Katrina. Not because of the storm but because we were gone for more than a month and they died due to lack of water. Who would have thought to take the plants!! We got out in enough time to pack a bag and gather the pets......and we were out da door!!
I enjoy looking at my plants and some of the pots are ones the kids made. I also have some prayer cards there that remind me that is a perfect time to talk to God.

Good Boy.

After a lengthy trip to the grocery store this morning (partly b/c of the Rx I was waiting on and partly b/c I had the kids with me {MLK Holiday} I finally made it home. As the girls and I were unloading the trunk, the dog let himself out the front door. No cause for alarm, he usually just does some business in the front bushes and comes back in. I guess he got sidetracked and we were finished unloading before he was ready. I unfortunately didn't realize this until about an hour after the fact. I was getting the girls settled in playing a game of 'littlest pet shop' while I checked phone messages. Suddenly (I think b/c of a dog food commercial) I realized the dog wasn't in the house. He is an old dog, loyal and barks alot but loyal. No matter what you are doing, he'll be right there with you. He wasn't right here with me though.

I asked the girls if he was in there with them and they replied, "no, m'am!" So I checked the backyard thinking maybe I had let him out back and just forgot. Nope. So next was the front yard. I opened the front door ready to holler out his name and he was sitting on the welcome mat, just enjoying the 77 degree weather outside. He looked up at me as if to say, "what?"

"What a good boy!" was my response and I let him in and showered him with love, hugs, and treats!

Meal Time

I am a mother. I am a housewife. I also work 3 hours a day at the school my girls attend. With that comes many many responsibilities. Not only do I get up at the crack of dawn to get hubby out the door for work, but the kids off to school as well. When I leave the carpool line at the school after dropping of the kids, it is off to my first errand of the day. Sometimes that is the post office, bank, grocery, dr.'s appts, vet drop offs for the animals. When I return home it is cleaning up from morning rush hour. I unload the dishwasher from the night before. Start a load of laundry, change sheets on the beds (I should do this more often than I do {weekly} but would like them done daily) and turn on the television for some company. There are so many projects going on right now that just aren't getting done. Simple things like clean off the patio. Sort and file pictures (which are still in totes ready for a moments notice hurricane evac).

Who wants to do those odd jobs when there are more fun things to do like spend time with the kids, take an unexpected picnic with the fam. Get a phone call from hubby to come have lunch with him. And then there is my online time. I enjoy my time surfing the net, checking favy blogs, and when inspiration hits, blogging myself.

I can handle it. I have for a long time. My biggest and maybe hardest part is deciding what is for dinner. I know it seems silly. I just dread deciding what to have. I love to cook it! I am a somewhat good cook. I just never know what to fix.

Growing up my mom always had Thursdays as spaghetti night. I am not certain if that was a basketball night (for siblings) and crock pot spaghetti was hot and ready for anyone having dinner from 5pm to 9pm or if she just one day decided that was what we were having. I wish I could have that. I really need to designate a spaghetti night. It was nice knowing that when I came home from school mom would have already had dinner on and ready and we always knew on Thursday we were having spaghetti.

Meal times are always our opportunity to talk with the kids, find out about their day. It doesn't matter what we eat, they are good about trying new things but deciding what that is makes me crazy some days. If you have any ideas I'd love to hear them.....I think we are going to do the whole Spaghetti night starting this week!!!

A Birthday Surprise!

This coming week is FIL's bday. He will be 67 years old. I hope that I get to celebrate at least that many birthdays! We went to their house (a three hour drive) this weekend to celebrate early and visit. Carrot cake was his only request. The man LOVES carrot cake. Not just any carrot cake, the one that his wife makes. And boy is it YUMMY!! To my surprise he had a gift for me on his birthday! Since he retired a few years back he has been enjoying time with his wife, golfing, puttering around in the old workshop, just enjoying life. He recently took up another hobby, jewelry making. This is something he has become quite good at and enjoys doing. I am excited for him that he has found more interests in his retirement but also that I get to be the benefactor of said jewelry. He handed me the catalog (of beads and other jewels)today and said, "which ones do you like best?" While I was there he gave me about 7 sets of earrings, and my two daughters several earrings and each a necklace. I told him I like these kinds of birthdays, I get gifts too!! : )

How should I feel?

I have never gotten too emotional about the death penalty. I know that the crime they commited to deserve such punishment must have been severe. But do we have the power to take someone else's life? Saddam Hussein has always be an evil man in my little knowledge of him and I am in no way saying he did not deserve the punishment but I am faced with how am I supposed to feel? Should I be happy that Justice has been served? Should I be sad that his life was taken, who are we to play God? Should I feel sorry for him that he may very well be burning in hell as we speak? And then what about the people he killed? Who was there to protect them and their families.
I guess I just don't get it. I don't understand how someone can be so evil for one and also to have no remorse?! I pray to God that somehow we find world peace, is there such a thing?

Trans Siberian Orchestra

The day was rainy and dreary, the air was cool and crisp. The traffic getting there was horrific. But the feeling that I got when they turned the lights down and started playing was that of shear pleasure. My whole body had goosebumps. If you've never heard of Trans Siberian Orchestra (from here on out known as TSO) you are missing out! TSO is one of the most amazing concerts I have ever seen. The lights, the music, the atmosphere, it was amazing. I sat and listened, reflecting on the season, and realized just how wonderful it is. It, being the season of Christmas. How we run along and gather our presents for friends and family, imposing deadlines on ourselves that no one could or even should try to meet. The season is about more than just giving. We all say that giving in better than receiving however I sure am enjoying the gift that Jesus gave to me. I enjoy that gift every day. Without even thinking of it. Maybe this should be more an Easter post than a Christmas one, I believe that the day Christ was born was just as important. Can you imagine how Mary felt, knowing her son was so special.
I hope that you had a blessed Christmas and a healthy new year!!

We must be rich!!

Let me first just say, I don't know where she gets these things. Little sister has moved only once in her life and was only three so her memory of it is not very strong. However she has decided that if/when we move again she has a couple of items she'd like to add to the 'want list'.
A) A house with stairs. This translated means a two story. We had a two story when she was a baby and where we moved there were mostly single story ranch style houses.

B) A house with a pop-up toaster! Really.

When our house flooded two years back (mostly the kitchen) we had a pop-up toaster. A toaster where you put the toast in and after a while it 'pops' back up. I didn't realize this had such meaning to my daughter until she put it on her list. I had replaced the one that we lost with a toaster oven thinking it would be nice to toast more than bread.

This has become a topic of discussion with our circle of friends and when little sister went on a playdate she noticed that family had a pop-up toaster. She had mentioned to the friends mom that she must be RICH!! Not everyone has a pop-up toaster!

This year for Christmas (we opened some gifts early due to traveling during holidays) we got a pop-up toaster! We must be rich!

Christmas meme, thank you Sarah for sending it.


1. Egg nog or hot chocolate?
Hot chocolate, I never learned how to drink egg nog!

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
Now-a-days Santa gifts are just under the tree, not wrapped. As far as when I was growing up I really couldn't say. We had 6 kids in our family, so when Christmas morning came I was always so excited to see all the presents under the tree. It didn't occur to me that ALL those gifts were for 6 kids, I just knew we must have been good to get ALL those presents!!

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?
I have done both. One year I thought how nice the house would look with all white lights, and it did. Then the following year I went back to colored. I've done the icicle lights, the mini lights, the big bulb lights....I'll try anything once. The Christmas tree has colored and clear lights but my favy are the bubble lights! We had those on the tree when I was growing up and it was always so exciting to sit and watch the bubbles inside the lights.

4. Do you hang mistletoe?
Not so much, we never (that I remember anyway) had it as a kid.....never knew much about it.

5. When do you put your decorations up?
Usually the first week in December in part because I am so excited about the season and also if I don't do it then it may not get done!

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?
I have always liked a little bit of everything. I would have my plate full but with a tiny scoop of everything. I think my favorite was always my mother's mashed potatoes.

7. Favorite holiday memory as a child:
I always loved going to Grandma Reinhard's house. For some reason I always called it Grandma Reinhard's house. Aunt Kay was always there, Grandpa was always there and usually Uncle Bill/Aunt Carol and/or Aunt Nancy/Uncle Tom were there as well, but it was always referred to as Grandma Reinhard's house. I loved it because of the smell of the house, I can't explain it, it just always smelled good. And there house was always clean. Now I'm not talking just comet clean or recently vacuumed clean. Their house had nice furniture, perfectly decorated tree, if you needed something, it was right where it should be. A place for everything and everthing in its place. There was no clutter and coming from a house with 6 very active kids and a two parents there was always clutter in our house! Never any really really nice things, they wouldn't stay nice for long with that many young ones around. Also, I loved going there because I got to sit with Grandpa. He was a "grinch" kinda guy to most people. Not many kind words to say to others but he was always nice to me. I'd get to sit next to him and just sit. We'd talk, or rather I'd ask annoying questions and he would answer, but I loved him (God rest his soul) and I know he loved me. **sniff, sniff** I didn't realize just how much I miss him until I get the chance to openly talk about him. Not many family members have the same memories as I do.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
When I was 7 years old. My brother was just about two years old and there were 5 of us kids around the house. I walked into my parents bedroom (which I had done several times, their room was never off limits) and sat on the bed. Just recently learning how to read I started reading the paper that was left on the bed. I was reading it aloud and I started at the top, by the time I got to Susan: tea cup set, doll baby...my mother turned around and grabbed the paper out of my hand and said something about if I breathed a word of this to younger brother that she would give all my presents to cousin Elizabeth (whose parents didn't have much for Christmas). I realized pretty quick that since what I got for Christmas was what was on the list that Santa must be mom & dad. Sad story come to think of it.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
Usually the kids can't stand it anymore and want to open just one on Christmas eve. Otherwise we open them all Christmas morning.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree?
Colored and clear lights, tinsel and ornaments, lots and lots of ornaments!

11. Snow? Love it or dread it?
I LOVE IT! Although I can say that because the chances are pretty slim we'll ever have any in this neck of the woods. I do love it and miss in terribly but it gets old after February and it is not the really pretty snow, it is the snow that has been plowed and mixed with salt, yucky snow.

12. Can you ice skate?
Not so much, you prolly don't want to see me try either.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? I remember as a child getting a Cabbage patch doll with a pink sweater outfit. It was my favorite!! As an adult, a gold watch my hubby got me. I had NO clue he was getting it for me, which is surprising because I usually find out these things.

14. What's the most exciting thing about the holidays for you?
Seeing my children drift off to sleep, we usually let them fall asleep in front of the tree Christmas eve. And of course seeing their faces when they open the gifts!!

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert?
not sure the name of them, mom makes them every year. They are chocolate cookies with white powdered sugar on the tops...Krinkles, maybe?

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
Making Christmas cut out's with my kids. We usually make the cookies and ice them and of course eat several of them as well. Also, taking the girls to see Santa. Little sister has decided that the Santa at our mall is the real one; all the other santas must just be the helpers.

17. What tops your tree?
A litghted Angel

18. Which do you prefer - giving or receiving?
That sounds like a loaded question to me. I of course love giving (if I really want to get that someone something but if I have to get it b/c that is what is expected, not so much) but who doesn't get all excited when a gift is given to them?!

19. What is your favorite Christmas song?
Silent night, by Kenny G. I also like all the traditional ones too!

20. Candy canes?
yes but only now and then.

Birthday Meme!!

Birthday Meme

1) Go to Wikipedia.
2) In the search box, type your birth month and day but not the year.
3) List three events that happened on your birthday.
4) List two important birthdays and one death.
5) One holiday or observance (if any).

My birthday is March 27th.

Events:
1513 - (not 1512 as often cited) - Explorer Juan Ponce de León sights North America (specifically Florida) for the first time, mistaking it for another island.

1994 - One of the biggest tornado outbreaks in recent memory hits the Southeastern United States. One tornado slams into a church in Piedmont, Alabama during Palm Sunday services killing 20 and injuring 90


Births:
972 - King Robert I of France (d. 1031)

1969 - Mariah Carey, American singer

1988 - Brenda Song, American actress

Deaths:
1191 - Pope Clement III

2003 - Paul Zindel, American writer (b. 1936)

Holidays and observances:
Feast day of Rupert of Salzburg in the Roman Catholic Church

Interesting pieces of information, thanks Sarah for sending it to me.

I couldn't imagine myself anything but...

You Belong in Fall

Intelligent, introspective, and quite expressive at times...You appreciate the changes in color, climate, and mood that fall bringsWhether you're carving wacky pumpkins or taking long drives, autumn is a favorite time of year for you

What Season Are You?

What Kind of Reader Are You? Your Result: Dedicated Reader You are always trying to find the time to get back to your book. You are convinced that the world would be a much better place if only everyone read more.
Obsessive-Compulsive Bookworm
Literate Good Citizen
Fad Reader
Book Snob
Non-Reader
What Kind of Reader Are You? Create Your Own Quiz

That I can't...

My mother's wedding is today. She has been waiting for a long time for this. Longer than just the time it took for the annulment to go come through. She has been longing for the companionship that she didn't get for many many years when still married to my father. She finally found the love and friendship she'd hoped for all her life.
When she got the news that the annulment came through I'm sure she was more than thrilled. I was thrilled for her. I wished I could have been there to give her a hug and share in the joy. But I couldn't. I live 922.83 miles away.
I chose to live here. I chose to move my family 922.83 miles away from the family that they loved. From the friends that they made. From the home that they had become familiar with. 922.83 miles away from SNOW! I miss the snow. I chose to move away, and I have to live with those choices. I want to come to the wedding, I want to share in the joy, I want to visit with my family who I miss terribly. But I can't. The timing couldn't be worse. We were just there visiting a couple months before the news of the annulment.
What most people don't understand is that we are not made of money. We moved here because of my husband's job. He did get a boost in pay as would anyone would to move that far and for the position. He did not however get an endless income. We have to save each year to come home. And some years past have gone up twice in one year. I don't mind so much that we do all the traveling. I don't mind so much that it is not convenient for anyone else to make the trip. I do understand that we all have our own lives and have to do what is best for our own families. We could have some very nice things, we could take some really nice trips. But we choose to use the money to go home.
Had we not been visiting just a couple months prior, I'd be at my mother's wedding now. I think of all the children, I want to be there most.
I'm not sad that I moved. I'm not sad that my mother is getting remarried. I am sad that as much as I want to, the fact is right now that I can't...

Thank you , God...

Thank you God for my beautiful family which includes my dear husband, my beautiful girls, and my two angels in Heaven.

My family who knew me first, my mother and her new husband. My dad who I don't get the chance to visit often but he is always on my prayer list). My Brothers and sisters and their spouses and children which I am especially thankful for. My siblings brought new friends to me (by way of spouses) who I may have never known otherwise.

My extended family, which my dear husband brought into my life, thank you God!

Of course Grandma-in-Florida for whom we are grateful to have in our lives.
For all out-of-state relatives, you have to really make the effort to keep in touch and I appreciate that more now than ever.

All my new friends, who I appreciate more now that I am away from my family.

And of course for the dog. This may sound strange but my dog is 11 years old and going strong. Those of you close enough to me know that my son died 11 years ago in November, therefore know how important a companion he is to me.

And to anyone and everyone who has touched my life in a way I most likely will never forget but may not post at this moment.

Thank you God for giving me life, I will do my best to make you proud!