My mother's wedding is today. She has been waiting for a long time for this. Longer than just the time it took for the annulment to go come through. She has been longing for the companionship that she didn't get for many many years when still married to my father. She finally found the love and friendship she'd hoped for all her life.
When she got the news that the annulment came through I'm sure she was more than thrilled. I was thrilled for her. I wished I could have been there to give her a hug and share in the joy. But I couldn't. I live 922.83 miles away.
I chose to live here. I chose to move my family 922.83 miles away from the family that they loved. From the friends that they made. From the home that they had become familiar with. 922.83 miles away from SNOW! I miss the snow. I chose to move away, and I have to live with those choices. I want to come to the wedding, I want to share in the joy, I want to visit with my family who I miss terribly. But I can't. The timing couldn't be worse. We were just there visiting a couple months before the news of the annulment.
What most people don't understand is that we are not made of money. We moved here because of my husband's job. He did get a boost in pay as would anyone would to move that far and for the position. He did not however get an endless income. We have to save each year to come home. And some years past have gone up twice in one year. I don't mind so much that we do all the traveling. I don't mind so much that it is not convenient for anyone else to make the trip. I do understand that we all have our own lives and have to do what is best for our own families. We could have some very nice things, we could take some really nice trips. But we choose to use the money to go home.
Had we not been visiting just a couple months prior, I'd be at my mother's wedding now. I think of all the children, I want to be there most.
I'm not sad that I moved. I'm not sad that my mother is getting remarried. I am sad that as much as I want to, the fact is right now that I can't...
1 comment:
You were here in spirit, Susan. You were in our thoughts and in our hearts and the joy was so big that you must have felt it and been sharing in it. (Pictures posting later today, mehopes - and when we get the pro pics I'll mail them to you!)
We miss you, but we do not begrudge you that you were not here. Don't give yourself guilt that you don't need. Just pray for the new couple, as a bouquet of prayers is the best gift of all.
And hey, we will come down...one of these days! (It's on our to-do list. You're the next big trip, mehopes, but it will be later next year, most likely.)
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