Has is really been 5 months!?!

I can't believe it has been five months since I blogged. I read all the good ones when I get a chance but never seem to have more than 5 minutes to write on my own. Life is just not the same as it was. And let me just say that working full time and being a mother/wife full time is just too much. I may be whining just a bit but let me just say this working business is for the birds!! Kudos to those of you who do it and do it well. I can't seem to keep anything straight! I have missed appointments, not made it to the grocery, forgot to send p.e. clothes with the girls on the appropriate days (and let me tell you the kids don't let me forget about that one anymore!!) I just can't do it and don't care to at all.
All my life I only wanted to be a mom. I never wanted for much else. I wanted to get married and have kids. Stay home with my babies and be the mom who is always there for them.
It is just too much to handle doing it ALL. And I can't believe I left the dishes to sit and blog but I needed some blog time and hey, the kids are in bed, why shouldn't I take a minute!!?!?

Before I started working I got things done. I don't have the cleanest house in the world and I can't claim that I never forgot to do something but all was good in my little world. Now my house has fallen apart and things are piling up. I don't know how women do it but I can justify getting someone to clean the house and take out the laundry and even hire someone for the lawn.....it is just too much for any one to handle!

Back to reality, the dishes are waiting, laundry needs folding, I need to find clothes to wear tomorrow, pack lunches, feed the dog, start packing for a long awaited trip.....the list goes on and on. But I will take the time to at least read what other lovely people have written and how their lives are going.

He's just a cat, right?

At least that is what I keep telling myself....it doesn't help any. My favorite cat (even more favorite than any of ALL of the barn cats we had over the years including Mr. Furly, Tud, and Holly) has given me nothing but trouble since the day we brought him into the house. Long story short....four surgeries and more than $5000 later I still feel like I should have done more. You see this cat (at least I think) had an eating disorder. He'd eat any and everything.

First surgery the dr's asked me to exam what it was they took from his bowel because they just couldn't figure it out. It ended up being the neon orange pair of ear plugs that we used when we mow the lawn. In addition there were several "Polly Pocket" shoes and other accessories, along with about a dozen pony tail holders and a few rubber bands. Next two surgeries were more involved including a charm bracelet (yes a metal linked charm bracelet) again more rubber bands and pony tail holders. The most recent surgery was a shoe lace....let me rephrase that a BOOT lace. It was the cord type boot lace. About three feet entwined throughout his belly, intestines, and bowel. And you guessed it, more pony tail holders, rubber bands, and some miscellaneous things. Now....I try to keep the house clean, straight, picked up. But how do you make sure the cat doesn't eat those kinds of things?!?!? We kept all the doors closed and he only had access to the living space by the front of the house. My guess is that he would get mad when we would leave for work. Then again maybe he liked the texture?! He (and his brother) always had food available as well as water. In fact they both had access to food and water both in the kitchen and in the back bedroom. I just don't get it.
Now, most of you may be thinking why on earth would you have even spent the money on this cat to begin with!? He was that kind of cat. He was the most love-y cat you'd ever meet. He was always purring. Always. When the dr.'s would exam him they couldn't get over how he would just keep purring all through the visit. Even when you would think he was scared, you could still hear a purr from him. He LOVED everyone and if you came into HIS home (yes, we live with the cats!) he would be one of the first to greet you and if you somehow had nothing on your lap as you sit he'd make sure he filled it with....him.

Another reason we loved the cat so much is that we brought him home just two months after our son died. It helped ease the pain (if there is such a thing) with my two daughters when they heard the news of the unfortunate circumstances of my pregnancy. I know there was no replacement for our son. I knew that if we got the cats that it would in fact be harder to part with them later because of the emotional attachment. I knew this....yet it is hard to reason with a woman in such grief.

Well, after his third surgery only a month ago, he started healing and doing better. Then out of the blue he turned. He started with symptoms again that led me to believe he wasn't well. I immediately took him into the vet hospital after calling them ahead of time to explain the situation. There were two girls at the office who semi-adopted him and we actually called them Aunt Pia and Aunt Brittney because they were like family to this cat. They loved him as much as we did.

I signed all the appropriate papers (even though they had all of our current info....we were just there for surgery a month ago) and asked the girls to take good care of my baby. He stayed overnight but through the night his condition worsened. They took him into surgery Tuesday morning and before he had a chance to come out of anesthesia he died. His little body (although he was a large cat) just couldn't handle anymore.

I cried of course for the loss of the cat and what he meant to our family but also the tremendous guilt I felt that I didn't take good enough care of him. I should have done more. What kind of mother am I? And of course that all leads up to the questions I had regarding my own sons and how I felt somehow responsible for what happened (genetics can't be helped though).

The girls knew we took him to the vet hospital and that he needs to stay there a while. Aunt Pia and Aunt Britteny are going to be taking care of him. I just haven't had the heart to tell them what happened. They loved that cat. Still do. The attachment they have to this cat is unlike any other I've seen. I know I need to tell them but it is so hard for me to cope as well....how do I tell them?!!? They've already been through so much! I keep telling myself he was just a cat....it's not working. I still miss him.......

You know your kids are growing up when...

* Little Sister says her favorite television show is How It's Made

* Older Sister is entering 4th grade

* Little Sister is entering 2nd grade

* I walked down the hallway only to find Older Sister cleaning
the bathroom sink....without being asked.

* Both girls can successfully make their own breakfast in the morning


But as difficult as it is to accept they are growing up, I know that at the end of the day when they are snuggled up against me before bedtime....they'll both always be my babies.

Things to do, places to go...

Our lives are much like anyone else; school, work, dinner, bedtime. But since May came barging in we have been bombarded with softball, gymnastics, (often times overlapping each other) end-of-the-year school activities, and rumor has it the pool opens up today!! Yikes! It's hard to keep up. I've always been a stay-at-home mom but here recently my kids aren't home. They go to school during the day so there is no one for me to stay home for..sorry Uppy.
I love all the activities even though sometimes TheDad takes one girl in one direction and I take the other one. They play at two different parks and two separate teams. Sometimes I wish I were that busy during the day though. When you have been a SAHM for the past nine years what do you do with yourself when the kids are in school. I don't feel the need to go out and get a full-time job because my kids still need me and I enjoy our time together and not having to rush off to a job. Anyone have any suggestions?

Thank you!!

I recently received a package in the mail. Who doesn't get excited (like little girl at Christmas excited) when there is a package waiting at your door. I knew it was coming only because my dear sister-in-law said she was sending something. I had NO IDEA it was going to be a Danielle Bean book!!! I feel like I know this woman, like she is my next door neighbor, my friend, my "go to" lady for when I have a question about anything from 'how to handle the kids?' to 'how to keep my house clean?' to 'is there ever enough time for just me?'

I started the book the very second I opened the package and enjoyed the first few pages before I had to leave for my 'less than part time' job at the school. I have been wanting to get this book, I've heard so many good reviews. I even tried a couple of her contests at her site to win one. Thank you, Sarah for the book and for caring enough about me to give it to me. And thank you, Danielle Bean for writing it and for being my 'virtual friend'.

The Mail Doorbell

When the mail comesI know. Not only do I know when it has come but I know when it is coming and after the mail lady left. And then I know when the neighbors across the street get their mail as well.
I have a Yorkipoo (yorkshire terrior/poodle) and he insists on letting us all know when the mail has come. He is better than any doorbell but more annoying than any device thought of. I never have to wonder if/when the mail has come, Yorkipoo lets me know!!

And so we left...

So we went to mass this morning, 10am at a different church than usual in effort to be at the Fairgrounds in time for Family Day. In these parts there is a Catholic church/school on about every corner so your choice of mass times vary from 6:30am to 6pm. Family Day at the Fairgrounds is just that, Family Day. The admission is only $1 and you get to watch the horses race and they have all sorts of activities for the kids. Well, having never been to the church we chose to attend this morning we didn't know many people there. And little sister was acting very tired so daddy held her most of mass. I didn't think much of her being tired because of the fun filled day before.
Shortly before Communion she woke up and said she didn't feel good. Only seconds later (and of course durning the quietest time in mass) we heard, cough, cough, splat! As I tried to convince the couple next to us that it was in their best interest to move quickly, again we heard, cough, cough, splat!

Again, not being familiar with this church I didn't know where the bathroom was so I escorted my sick little girl outside and let her finish her business outside in the grass. I then came back in to find the bathroom and of course there was a line 5 deep. I eventually was given some paper towels by one of the parishoners so as to clean up the mess in the pews.

So, in this time span of about 5 minutes (although it felt like an eternity) I decided that after I received Communion I should leave to get sick little girl home, bathed, and snuggled.

And so we left...

Hurricanes, Tornado's, and Flood's oh my!!

As I was awaken by the crash of thunder at 2am I wondered what the heck is going on!? I checked on the little ones (what mother doesn't when for one reason or another awaken in the middle of the night?) and within minutes heard the thunder crack again! If I weren't already awake and aware of what was going on I'd think someone broke in through the window. This continued on through the night as did the battle of trying to keep the little ones comforted. We made 'floor beds' for the kids to stay in our room because their room (less than 10 feet away) was not safe enough for them, or so they thought. I heard those same cracks of thunder at 2:30, 3:15, 4:30, 5:00, 5:45, and then finally woke up at 6:30am to start my day! Needless to say I am tired and in need of a nap, which I won't get.

PTL that our neck of the woods was not damaged as a result of the storms last night but not so true for those living just miles away. Tornado's (or they may say the same one just jig-jogging all over the place) towered through several different cities and wrecked havoc on houses that are STILL trying to recover from Hurricane Katrina! We just can't win!!!! If it's not a Hurricane, it is a tornado and if not those we are always at risk for floods.

Needless to say my stress level has jumped quite a bit since I moved down here. I know you can experience a Tornado just about anywhere in the US but it seems there are more and more around these parts lately.

I guess my muffled thoughts here are just my way of being thankful for the things I have and PTL we are safe......for now!

From My Kitchen Sink...

Sarah inspired me to share with you the view from my kitchen sink. What a neat idea. You don't think about it much but everyone's sink-view is very different. One day I hope to have one overlooking open fields and mature trees, but for now I have my backyard and my neighbors back yard.
I took these at night so you can't see the real view of the outside but you are not missing much. Just my empty backyard and the back of my neighbors houses. I hope to have some sort of plants to plant by the fenceline and maybe give some privacy. We have 6' fence on both sides but a chain link on the back. Go figure. My Bamboo plants are the ones I bought to replace some of the plants I lost during Katrina. Not because of the storm but because we were gone for more than a month and they died due to lack of water. Who would have thought to take the plants!! We got out in enough time to pack a bag and gather the pets......and we were out da door!!
I enjoy looking at my plants and some of the pots are ones the kids made. I also have some prayer cards there that remind me that is a perfect time to talk to God.

Good Boy.

After a lengthy trip to the grocery store this morning (partly b/c of the Rx I was waiting on and partly b/c I had the kids with me {MLK Holiday} I finally made it home. As the girls and I were unloading the trunk, the dog let himself out the front door. No cause for alarm, he usually just does some business in the front bushes and comes back in. I guess he got sidetracked and we were finished unloading before he was ready. I unfortunately didn't realize this until about an hour after the fact. I was getting the girls settled in playing a game of 'littlest pet shop' while I checked phone messages. Suddenly (I think b/c of a dog food commercial) I realized the dog wasn't in the house. He is an old dog, loyal and barks alot but loyal. No matter what you are doing, he'll be right there with you. He wasn't right here with me though.

I asked the girls if he was in there with them and they replied, "no, m'am!" So I checked the backyard thinking maybe I had let him out back and just forgot. Nope. So next was the front yard. I opened the front door ready to holler out his name and he was sitting on the welcome mat, just enjoying the 77 degree weather outside. He looked up at me as if to say, "what?"

"What a good boy!" was my response and I let him in and showered him with love, hugs, and treats!

Meal Time

I am a mother. I am a housewife. I also work 3 hours a day at the school my girls attend. With that comes many many responsibilities. Not only do I get up at the crack of dawn to get hubby out the door for work, but the kids off to school as well. When I leave the carpool line at the school after dropping of the kids, it is off to my first errand of the day. Sometimes that is the post office, bank, grocery, dr.'s appts, vet drop offs for the animals. When I return home it is cleaning up from morning rush hour. I unload the dishwasher from the night before. Start a load of laundry, change sheets on the beds (I should do this more often than I do {weekly} but would like them done daily) and turn on the television for some company. There are so many projects going on right now that just aren't getting done. Simple things like clean off the patio. Sort and file pictures (which are still in totes ready for a moments notice hurricane evac).

Who wants to do those odd jobs when there are more fun things to do like spend time with the kids, take an unexpected picnic with the fam. Get a phone call from hubby to come have lunch with him. And then there is my online time. I enjoy my time surfing the net, checking favy blogs, and when inspiration hits, blogging myself.

I can handle it. I have for a long time. My biggest and maybe hardest part is deciding what is for dinner. I know it seems silly. I just dread deciding what to have. I love to cook it! I am a somewhat good cook. I just never know what to fix.

Growing up my mom always had Thursdays as spaghetti night. I am not certain if that was a basketball night (for siblings) and crock pot spaghetti was hot and ready for anyone having dinner from 5pm to 9pm or if she just one day decided that was what we were having. I wish I could have that. I really need to designate a spaghetti night. It was nice knowing that when I came home from school mom would have already had dinner on and ready and we always knew on Thursday we were having spaghetti.

Meal times are always our opportunity to talk with the kids, find out about their day. It doesn't matter what we eat, they are good about trying new things but deciding what that is makes me crazy some days. If you have any ideas I'd love to hear them.....I think we are going to do the whole Spaghetti night starting this week!!!

A Birthday Surprise!

This coming week is FIL's bday. He will be 67 years old. I hope that I get to celebrate at least that many birthdays! We went to their house (a three hour drive) this weekend to celebrate early and visit. Carrot cake was his only request. The man LOVES carrot cake. Not just any carrot cake, the one that his wife makes. And boy is it YUMMY!! To my surprise he had a gift for me on his birthday! Since he retired a few years back he has been enjoying time with his wife, golfing, puttering around in the old workshop, just enjoying life. He recently took up another hobby, jewelry making. This is something he has become quite good at and enjoys doing. I am excited for him that he has found more interests in his retirement but also that I get to be the benefactor of said jewelry. He handed me the catalog (of beads and other jewels)today and said, "which ones do you like best?" While I was there he gave me about 7 sets of earrings, and my two daughters several earrings and each a necklace. I told him I like these kinds of birthdays, I get gifts too!! : )

How should I feel?

I have never gotten too emotional about the death penalty. I know that the crime they commited to deserve such punishment must have been severe. But do we have the power to take someone else's life? Saddam Hussein has always be an evil man in my little knowledge of him and I am in no way saying he did not deserve the punishment but I am faced with how am I supposed to feel? Should I be happy that Justice has been served? Should I be sad that his life was taken, who are we to play God? Should I feel sorry for him that he may very well be burning in hell as we speak? And then what about the people he killed? Who was there to protect them and their families.
I guess I just don't get it. I don't understand how someone can be so evil for one and also to have no remorse?! I pray to God that somehow we find world peace, is there such a thing?